What I learned from not setting clear boundaries with clients

Discover the lessons I learned from not setting clear client boundaries, why it matters, and tips for maintaining professional relationships.

What I Learned from Not Setting Clear Boundaries with Clients from the beginning.  I had a contract in place but, you know what... I love to help.  

"I don’t need a business coach; I need someone to tidy up some things in my business."

When my client said these words, I had a sinking feeling. Something wasn’t right, but I brushed it off, eager to help. Looking back, that moment should have been a turning point—a chance to pause, clarify expectations, and set boundaries. Instead, I found myself stepping outside my role as a business coach and into tasks that didn’t align with my expertise or how I need to run my business.

This experience taught me some hard but valuable lessons about the importance of clear communication, protecting my time and energy, and staying true to my role. While it wasn’t easy, ending this client relationship on respectful terms gave me the clarity to move forward in a way that better serves my clients and myself.

In this post, I’ll share my story, the lessons I learned, and tips for anyone struggling with setting boundaries in their professional life.

When Boundaries Blur

When I first started working with this client, I was excited. The opportunity to support someone in the beauty industry felt like a chance to stretch my skills and apply my coaching methods in a new way. But early on, I realised something wasn’t quite right.

The client didn’t seem interested in the strategic advice or coaching support I was offering. I was offering advice on working with existing customers by implementing email campaigns, as it is so important to keep hold of your current customers, especially in this cost-of-living crisis.  SEO was another factor.  There wasn't a lot of traffic to the website so I insisted that this was a project that needed attention.  And the final thing was to get active on social media especially instagram and TickTok to show before and after results. 


Instead, they wanted someone to “tidy up” their business—tasks like managing ongoing projects and resolving operational issues. While I tried to adapt, it became clear I wasn’t the right person for the job.

At first, I thought I could balance it all. But as the work piled up, I found myself pulled away from my core coaching clients and the work I truly love. The beauty industry was unfamiliar to me, and I felt increasingly out of alignment with how I usually operate.

The Impact of Fuzzy Boundaries

Stepping outside of my role didn’t just affect my schedule—it took a toll on my energy and focus. I found myself:

  • Spending more time on tasks that weren’t in my zone of genius.
  • Feeling frustrated and stretched too thin.
  • Neglecting the boundaries, I work hard to maintain with other clients.

More importantly, it wasn’t serving the client either. They needed hands-on support from someone with a different skill set—not strategic advice from a coach.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, here’s what I wish I had done differently—and what I’ll always do moving forward:

  1. Define My Role Early
    Your role and responsibilities should be crystal clear from the start. Coaching is about guidance, strategy, and empowerment—not doing the work for someone else. Next time, I’ll ensure every client understands exactly what to expect (and what not to).
  2. Speak Up When Things Shift
    Misaligned expectations can happen, but it’s important to address them quickly. If something feels off, have an honest conversation. A simple, “Let’s revisit the goals we set and see if we’re on track,” can make all the difference.
  3. Honour My Boundaries
    Saying “no” isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary to protect your time, energy, and ability to deliver value. I’ve learned that protecting my boundaries isn’t just good for me—it’s better for my clients too.


Ending the Relationship Respectfully

When I realised the situation wasn’t working, I knew it was time to step away. Ending the contract wasn’t easy, but I made sure to do so professionally. I acknowledged where I could have been clearer, delivered any outstanding work, and wished the client well.

Here’s what I said:

*"Hi [Client],
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to touch base regarding the projects and timelines. In hindsight, I realise I should have been clearer about my role as a business coach, which is to advise and guide, rather than directly manage projects.

With this in mind, I think it’s best for us to end the contract here. I’ll make sure to deliver all outstanding materials by the end of the week, and I genuinely wish you success moving forward. Thank you for the opportunity to work together.”*

By ending the relationship respectfully, I was able to protect my integrity and leave the door open for future opportunities if the fit is ever right.

Advice for Coaches and Service Providers

If you’re a coach, consultant, or service provider, here are some practical ways to maintain boundaries and avoid similar challenges:

  • Start with a Clear Agreement: Outline your role, deliverables, and expectations in writing.
  • Revisit Expectations Regularly: Schedule check-ins to ensure both parties are aligned.
  • Know When to Walk Away: It’s okay to say no if a situation no longer serves you or the client.

Conclusion

This experience was a reminder that setting clear boundaries isn’t just about protecting yourself—it’s about creating the best possible outcomes for everyone involved. When you honour your role, communicate openly, and stay true to your values, you build stronger, more effective relationships.

Have you ever faced a similar challenge in your work? I’d love to hear your story—let’s learn from each other!